thE beGInNinG oF LifE ~niSa~

First 9 months of 2007

1. Have you had your birthday yet?
:: yeaaaa...it was on April, 13...

2. Are you with the same person as you
were at the beginning of 2007?
:: yup...yup

3. Are you still in the same job?
:: same job..different place

4. Is your favorite color the same
color?
:: blue...still blue

5. Have you got the same style/colour
hair?
:: yup

6. Have you bought a new car this
year?
:: naaa...i bought it last year

7. Anything exciting happen this year?
:: yeaaa..been married n expected the new comer...

8. Have you been involved with the
police this year?
:: erhmmm....yeaaa when i'm doing post-mortem

9. Favorite all time drinking place
for 2007?
:: my home..

10. Is your best friend still your
best friend?
:: yup..mu hubby

11. Got any tattoos or piercings this
year?
:: nooo

12. Had a haircut?
:: yup..once in May

13. Been in a hospital this year

:: almost everyday..

14. Lost someone you cared about this
year?
:: nope

15. Been on a vacation this year?
:: yup...

16. Been in love this year?
:: ya..i do

17. Fallen out of love this year?
:: no

18. Been kicked out of a pub this
year? :: never been

19. Completed any studies this
year? :: no..

20. Read any books?
:: yup

21. Worst thing happen this year?
:: abortion and ERPOC done

22. Best thing happen this year?
:: my marriege

23. How many times have you gotten
drunk?
:: i dont drink

24. Has this year been a good one so
far? :: yep..alwaysss

Undecided Mind....

a few days ago, precisely on June 25th, i got a very good news ( maybe sad news too ) from my collegue that i've got a letter from Pengarah that i was placed to Casualty aka A&E department starting on July, 15....erhmm..that time i was so damn happy..at least i'm gona leave surgical department sooner ( wut i dream of before )..but after thinking for a quite sometimes i was like " sayang la pulak " after what have i did and learnt in surgical before..i enjoy surgical deparment..enjoy working ( of course not most of the time )..a very fine collegues...boss...erhhmmm..no comment ( x suke actually but okey laaa...)....so the letter made me undecided to where i should go..

my surgical collegue asked me not to leave the department... but i have to think for my best...in surgical department i'll work like i have no family..i think it's suitable for man, or unmarried woman because most of the time they will spend their live with patients..

but if u're at casualty...u'll work shiftly...that's mean....8am-3pm....3pm-10pm....10pm-8am...at least we have time to work n time to spend with family..besides i can do much more thing than today...eventho u'll can get harewire sleeping time but i think i can stand with it....

but..i think i have to do " solat istikarah " first......

BOSS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!

erhmmm.......ordinary topic to be discussed..well one example out of millionss...today i did total thyroidectomy ( excise thyroid out ) with Mr R....there's a lot of vessels to be cut n tied...so me and him did that ( since i've learnt hand tie...)...dpt la pujian sket...sket jer tak byk...then suddenly there was a gush of bleeding from no where..tried to detect all places and couldn't find it..and as usual Mr R dah start naik angin...takot hakuuuu...at last he found of of vessels that he had tied before....goshh...if i did that..i'll die...see...BOSS ALWAYS RIGHT!!

my EL:AI:EFF:EE

well...yeaaa..keep writing to make your self better..is it??hmm..i think most ppl think the same way like imah...

so today..is my first day working at Surgical Department, Hospital Sultan Abdul Halim, Sg Petani, Kedah Darul Aman...fuh...wut a long name and a sad name to mention....after being MC for about 3 weeks...:(...first day starting with OT..everybody asking bout my condition including Mr R..erhmm..wut else they can say right....they knew wut happened to me but nobody can say anything..nobody will responsible...so..wut i should i do then...erhmmm...just redha n accept everything that happened to me and continue my life...my job in this department....okay...not much..he is not well..must spend time with him...ciow...will be continue tomorrow....maybe...

life is life.....

2 more days before i go back tp SP..happy to meet my hunny bunch but feel bad after wut i've been go through before this at HSAH..feel very bad and disapointed after wut they have done to me..juz think how to get over it..it takes time to forget ( but i'm sure i'll never forget it )...to make my life n my marriage life better than before..must work harder on it..

when i go back to work this tuesday i hope my life will be better than before n much happier than before...i really wanna change my work life. i believe in myself that i will b able to do so but i dunno whether i'll succeed or not...plz pray for me....

MC Hammer

well...today is bout day-11 MC bcoz of some reason..not well actually...so bored at home...dunno wut to do..juz lie down or surfing on net..eating ( restricted foods )..watching movies ( no astro )..reading magazines ( old ages one....)..huh..

should start a new life from now on..should fight for my self to gain what i want in my life with my own effort without anybody sympathy..it difficuilt actually..everybody can do it including me i know but the consequences...???erhmm...not sure..it's going bad or good...

just pray to Allah to fullfill my wish..i've been suffered all this while ( to get what i want which i didn't get it..)...Amin..

2007 HOW MUCH HAVE YOU CHANGED IN 10 YEARS

10 years ago till present IT WAS MAY 1997

1.) How old were you? 16

2.) Where did you go to school? from SM Zainab to SM Sains Muar to to MRSM Taiping

3.) Where did you work? work??nooo....studying..( so called study..hehehe )

4.) Where did you live? Kota Bharu and Cempaka, MRSM Tpg

5.) Where did you hang out? around KB and around Taiping...ooohhh..ape yg menarik??hehehe

6.) Did you wear glasses? no...heyy trust me..hehe

7.) Who was your best friend? erhmm....4 of us...

8.) How many tattoos did you have? no tattoos

9.) How many piercing did you have? once...now no more

10.) What car did you drive? no license yet

11.) Had you been to a real party yet? not yet

12.) Had your heart broken? never at this time..hehe

FIVE YEARS AGO

1) How old were you? 21

2.) Where did you go to school? USM, Kubang Kerian

3.) Where did you work? no work...study still..

4.) Where did you live? on & off hostel..the rest at home..Jln Telipot

5.) Where did you hang out? somewhere around KB

7.) Who was your best friend? a lot

8.) Who was your regular-person crush? my hubby...heyy trust me gain..hehe

9.) How many tattoos did you have? no tattoos

10.) How many piercing did you have? still the old ONE

11.) What car did you drive? used my parents...Proton Saga and Nissan Sentra

12.) Had you had your heart broken? no...

MAY 2007

1.) How old are you? 26 y/o and 20 days

2.) Where do you work? Sultan Abdul Halim Hospital

3.) Where do you live? Tmn Ria Jaya

4.) Do you wear glasses? no..still..hehe

5.) Where do you hang out? erhmm...SP area n Penang..yeahhh

6.) Who are your best friends? my best friend is my husband..

7.) Do you talk to your old friends?

9.) How many piercing do you have? ONE!!!!

10.) How many tattoos? none

11.) Has your heart been broken? > thankfully NO...

12.) Do you love someone now? yes of course i doooo...lmbt nye die  balik keje.....:(

i'm back wv Q&A

Q 01: is there a person who is on your mind right
now?
A 01: my fiance

Q 02: where is the last place you went?
A 02: HRPZII

Q 03: who is the last person you called?
A 03: abg min

Q4: who do you like more, your mom or dad?
A 04: i love both the same

Q 05: do you have any siblings?
A 05: 7..

Q 06: do you smile often?
A 06: yup..

Q 07: do you think that someone is thinking about
you right now?
A 07: i think so bcoz we're smsing rite now

Q 08: do you wish on stars?
A 08: wut stars??

Q 09: do you untie your shoes every time you take
them off?
A 09: nope..juz leave like that..bile nak pki br untie..hehe

Q 10: when did you last cry?
A 10: last night...sob..sob...

Q 11: do you like your handwriting?
A 11: when i'm not bz..

Q 12: are you a friendly person?
A 12: depends on my mood..if rasa nak social2..

Q 13: who's bed did you sleep in last night?
A 13: mine

Q 14: what color shirt are you wearing?
A 14: white - t-shirt Tae Kwon Do

Q 15: do you have any pets?
A 15: no

Q 16: what is the color of your bed?
A 16: biru laaa

Q 17: what were you doing at 9 last night?
A 17: working still..up to 10pm

Q 18: i can't wait until...
A 18: 2007..errr february?march?

Q 19: is tom on your friends list?
A 19: tom member taiping...

Q 20: look to your right. what's there?
A 20: a chair

Q 22: ever cried yourself to sleep?
A 22: nope

Q 23: ever cried on your friend's shoulder?
A 23: yeaaa...

Q 24: song that makes you cry?
A 24: if you're not the one by daniel bedingfield

Q 25: are you normally a happy person?
A 25: i think so

Q 26: has anyone ever said 'i love you' to you?
A 26: sure...hehe

Q 27: is your self-esteem extremely low?
A 27: not sure but maybe sometimes

Q 28: where were you, who you with an hour ago?
A 28: me, myself n i..

Q 29: what's your latest sin?
A 29: errr.....bout last night...dun wat to tell..:(

Q 30: what's the time, mr wolf?
A 30: 1.10am

ER!!!!

hey...it has been..ermmm...DAY 6 of life i'm in Emergency Department..festly my name was in paediatric deparment but unfotunately there's culprit out there had twisted my name to theirs...so..what should i do...just accept it..

well..it's quite toughful in dealing wiv ppl in ER..different cases..weird cases..funny cases..all clumping together n have to b solved superficially la of course..if there's case that i can't solve, either consult those MO's in other deparment or..."masuk kes so"..hua hua hua..padan muke HO kena clerk ...muekekekeke...

n mana2 kes which not sever enough, so i just send them back la..but it's quit scary if they come back to u within 8 hourss..bahaya beb..court is waiting for ya..hehehe...ooo in this deparment also, naik turun court pon dah jadik biasa bcoz u're the fest witness right especially case MVA or assaulted cases...

soo...let see in this 4 month time..what's gonna happened to me..tp casualty ni...SUSAHNYEE NAK CUTI!!!!!!

so hard to tell..

we dont like this...we dont like that..but deeply in my heart i really upset..until when i have to b keep quite and just pray to myself so my relationship going as smooth as i wish...

like i have no other one to share wiv, if my heart is broken, no body's going to listen for me...i have a lots of fren to share wiv...yeaaa....frenn....a fren...a goood fren....

nEveR bEen KisSed..

"I’ve kissed a guy... I’ve kissed guys. I just haven’t felt that thing.... That thing... that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person. And you realize that that person is the only person you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. And you wanna laugh and you wanna cry, ‘cause you feel so lucky that you’ve found it, and so scared that it’ll go away all at the same time."

have u ever been kissed??

FebruAry, 14's dAy..

Dear D,

I love you from now until death do us part. Right now, you living so far away from me is killing me, but I know in my heart that we are doing the right thing. And, you are trying to get things straight so we can live there forever and spend a lifetime together. I don't want to lose you for anyone else or anything that anyone has to say about you. I want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart. My love for you is unconditional. The love for you is so strong and the most powerful feeling that I have had in a long time and I am just at a lost for words when it comes to you. I just wish that their was another way that we could be together without living so far apart right at the time being. I want you to know that I love you and always will and there is nothing that will ever change that about how I feel...I love you

                                                                          Loves, B..

vALentinEs....

my wish for this february, 14 2006..

just wana spend my time wv somebody i love..but i dont have that somebody to be wiv..so sad isn't it..i always wish that someone will come to my door wiv a bouquet of roses....fresh red roses i mean.. n between them, there's a not-a-fresh rose n a sweet card sounds like : my love for you dies when the last petal of these roses falls....sweet kan..

it has been a while.....bye2 to medical..

tracking my blogs..it has been 4 months now..i did complete my medical posting..today is my last day in medical department bcoz for the next 2 days i applied my holidays...but i'm not sure whether it's going my holidays or wut..maybe i'll go for work..or may be juz watching dvds...reading novels or do things dat i really wish to do..so..which department will i go after thiss..

yeaaa...da one n only posting during my housement year --> O&G...ppl says this posting is s bz s medical but it won't ruin ur life...i dunno i have to experience it my self kan....

dunno how bz i am ( but 4 5 days..i'll doing my tag for sure balik lmbt kan )...so i dunno what's going to happen to me for the rest of my 4 month time..

well..medical posting is very interesting..variety of things to learn n being learnt..i learnt a lot in medical..i deal a lot wif dying ppl in medical, i play a lot with all procedure's stuff and risky my selpf by using all the needles n sharp thing like branula, trocha n all...MO's all are okey n some of them i really respect n knowledgable..n of course my specialist..but exclude my big boss..hehe..i dunno y so far i dont like my boss..hehehehe.....

so i hope when i'm in O&G later, i'll enjoy this posting like my other 2 postingsss..i'Allah...

bYe bYe tO oRthOpeDic....aND wELcoMe tO mEdicAL woRLd...

so...

last thursday was my last day in orthopedic department after about 4 months serving in dat department..so that thursday, i completed my log book n ask kak zarini, kak awi, syukri, sudha and Dz to sign my log book...oo and oso Mr Shah..hehe..pastu kena gak jmp Mr Anuar say thank you n sorry sumer...n last skali jmp Mr Nordin n Mr Sanusi..baru jer bkk pintu, daa Mr Nordin suh ajar plak camne nak wat cam aku present rituh..aiyaaa..tp disebabkan aku baik hati, aku ngajo laa diee..cam cikgu plak...hehehehe...

so abes da crita in orthopedic...so on sunday, i will b in medical department daa...deparment yg sumer org takut..yer larr very high rate of extend n all...tension ngn big boss....kerje truk start at 730 am...kaki amik blood n paling takut skali bout procedure like peritoneal dialysis, central line, chest tube, pleural tab...etc...hmmm..but nak tanak mmg kena hadapi jugerr...tp i have to think positively la kan...kena blaja sumer2 ni sbb nak help ppl...if tak wat sumer bende tuh, patient might b suffered..sian kan..juz imagine that patients are ur family members...sure kita nak wat the best for them kann...soo..pasni sure balik2 pon penat kerjers sumerr....balik at night sokmo pon tatauu..ntah laaarr...kena rasa lu then baru leh talk....

aPa seBenArnya..

Andai sampainya waktu aku harus tinggalkan mu
Akan aku berlalu bila tiba saat itu
Tak guna kau merayu dan tak perlu menahanku
Kerana yang berlalu kehendakmu 

Hanya tuhan yang lebih tahu
Susah senang hidup dengan mu
Sumpah janji semakin layu
Hingga kini jatuh satu persatu
Engkau membiarkan ku 

Air mata bertamu tidak kenal erti jemu
Menemani hatiku tidak mengenal ruang waktu
Mengapa dari dulu tak kau kata kan padaku
Kehadiranku ini menyusahkan 

Yang terhalang kejujuranku
Dan yang terbilang kesilapanku
Memang payah dimengertikan
kerana tertutup pintu hati mu
Terima penjelasan 

Biar apa jua tafsiran
Yang ingin kau nyatakan
Aku rela terima semua....

p/s : tiba2 cam ske nak dgr lagu nih...

inspirion...

it's good to have a good fren like him, a good listener, always b there whenever she need somebody, a good adviser... Not like her bf, hot-tempered, selfish, not consider his gf at all, bossy, controller...demnnnn!..and i'm sure, her bf will lost her and regret later because of his behavior....

pEnat aR..

post call penat seh....esp EOD call..rasa nak tumbang sekarang juger...

mY fEeLinGs toWaRds....

oRthoPediC...

hmmm....nak dekat2 abes ortho ni, rasa cam sedeh la pulak...all bos ngn mo's pon makin jadi baik laa nampak..sumer jadik benign la pulak..even ada la sorg tuh yg..uishh..aku mmg hangin ngn Pok Ya ni..suke carik pasal...aku mmg melawan laa ngn mat sorg tuh..ske carik gaduh yerr..cam bagus sgt..glad masa die masuk, aku pon nak berambus daa..klo tak, mmg aku ngn dia bertekak sokmo laaarrrr....nway...juz forget bout him....

so per yg best nak crita  ni?erhmmm...dunno laa..today quite sleepy la sket..last nite OT abes at 2 am gak..carik half needle dlm kaki budak, tak jumpe2 even under II dahhh..nasib laa..so kitorg treat conservatively by antibiotic...by 4-5 days nnt, will developed abscess, then kluar la kot jarum tuh agaknyee....cian adik tuhhh.....

toDay in hiStoRy..

why eh?aaa....i feel happy on wednesday larrr...eventhough i have to present my orthopedic CME, femur shaft fracture, tp tak kena bamboo laarr..rasa funs jer today..bos pon okey jer rini ( maybe sbb fest day puasa kot..hehe)...pastu bos2 len pon, siap de wat teaching2 gik...mr sanusi pon takde bising2, mr nordin lagik arrr...hehehe...ehemm..ada MO baru laa from putrajaya..hehehe...nama pe ntah..haiyaa..nape time aku nak kuar, dia baru masukk..kacauu laaaaarr...:p..pas abes berdebar present tuh, berdebar kat grand round pulak..haiyaaa..

cuak gak sbb bukan sumer kes aku buat summary kan..adoi larrr....masa fest2 kat wad 30-28 tuh, boss nmpknye takde...as well as kat anggerik..so mmg lega abes larr....then masa nek dahlia ada fon call from bos, tny kat ner...laa..die join round kerr...haiyaaa..abesss..finishh daaaaa....so mmg kena gak la ngn dia suh read lumbar xray...uiyooo...cam takleh caya, sume org dok tolong2 gak laa including mr suresh daaaaa.....hehehehe...aa..selit sket pasal MO baru tuh..nmpk cam baik jer, tp kerek2 gak kot rasanya..asik dok "adik..adik" jerr...sape ntah adik diee...pastu asik dok tanya "kes apa"..lerrr..tgk laa sendirikkk...pastu dok tanya "plan..plan" pulak daaaaaa...dia kan tinggi melangit,pndi2 ler tgk pe yg aku tulish tuhhh..hehehe...

okey...pastu p laa kat teratai plakk..sbaik si naiemy dah wat summary..plus summary aku jugak plus summary kak huda wat.sebaik laa asiah ngn huda tlg haku present gak..klo dak, nganga gak sbb cuti yesterday kan....tp mmg tak kena bamboo by boss laa..lega la jugakk...sbaik mr yaacob pon adaaa..hehhe

pastuh dah abes round tuh, aaaa..so nak p la kat kereta..pastu si MO tuh tny laa ptg rabu slalu wat per...then ckp la bout radiologist conference tuh, ptt de every 2 weeks kann...since ptg td takde, ada patut die nak p tidooo...haiyaaaa...hehehe

ptg tuh, byk laa jugak kerjer nyaa...mr shah nak round ptg..ade lakkk.....pastu kerjer berlambak2 laa pulakk...

n the conclusion is..today is fun..no more "hari rabu my sad day".......

pastu cam sedeh la pulak nak left orto punya posting nihhhh.....i really enjoy la this posting..if mr anwar nak extend aku pon takper...tp tak mo laa lama2 sgt...hehehe